The Case for Common Sense

The Patels lived in a warm climate and one had to be mindful about buying groceries and leaving them in the car. Sitting in the sun with the windows rolled up, a car quickly turned into a greenhouse, a great place to grow certain varieties of plants, but also a very effective way of spoiling all kinds of foods.

For this reason Mr. Patel always made a point of seeking out shady parking spots. Even if there was no food in the car, he preferred keeping the interior of his car cool. It was just more pleasant that way, and any clothing or cd’s or other personal items would not get compromised by the searing rays of sunshine - sunshine that seemed to get stronger every year, regardless of whether or not you believed in global warming.

Furthermore, Mr. Patel did not mind seeking out the shadiest spots even if it meant parking in the farthest, most remote areas of a parking lot. The way he looked at it, Americans - himself included - were the most overfed people on the planet, and if they had to sacrifice “convenience” for walking long distances to and from the store, it was a good thing, an opportunity for badly-needed exercise. 

Mr. Patel was happy with his parking habits, and to his way of thinking they just made sense. But the community did not see it that way. There was a strong built-in tendency to park as close to the store as possible, and to refuse to make a connection between parking in the blazing hot sun and having your perishable foods spoiled. It was just considered impolite to make that connection.

Later, when people’s banana yogurt and organic eggs and frozen Lima beans were compromised, they were quite fond of throwing a fit about how their food was ruined, and how bad their luck was. This was followed by a stream of angry curses so virulent they would make a drunken sailor blush.

To Mr. Patel’s way of thinking, this was crazy. It simply lacked common sense. With the best of intentions he wrote an editorial in the local newspaper, the title of which was “The Case for Common Sense”. In it, he proposed planting more trees in parking lots, building solar panels and other design techniques that could solve the whole problem.

The community did not take well to Mr. Patel’s editorial. He was shunned in every possible way. First he was branded as “eccentric”, and not long after that terms like “subversive” and “threat to society” were overheard. Finally the floodgates were opened and labels such as “socialist”, “communist”, “hippie” and “tree hugger” were freely directed at Mr. Patel.

None of these words really bothered Mr. Patel very much, but when word got out about an angry mob carrying baseball bats, he made the decision to live like a savage in a remote corner of the Mojave Desert.

Actually he liked the desert very much, so it was really a blessing in disguise. Before long he found a nice, shady cave hidden in the mountains and was crafting spears out of palo verde branches. He frequently hiked to the tops of the nearby mountains where he found the vistas spiritually uplifting. For food he would suck on the juices of cacti and the fruits of Joshua trees. Sometimes his wife would bring him a change of socks and underwear.

This is how Mr. Patel ended up living like a savage in a remote corner of the Mojave Desert. 

- copyright 2019 by P.T. Gachot